According to the English dictionary, polyamory is defined as “Any various practices involving romantic or sexual relationship with multiple partners with the knowledge and consent of all involved.” Psychologically put, polyamory means engaging multiple romantic and sexual partners at the same time.
We should note that in polyamorous practice, “CONSENT” is a very important notion, since this is what makes it different from cheating. Research shows that this trend is not generally accepted by society since everyone has been indoctrinated into monogamous relationships. Therefore, anything other than that is seen as immoral and in some cultures unacceptable.
An interesting fact about polyamorous relationships is that unlike open relationships and friends with benefits, the partners involved are always aware of the other and are likely comfortable with it. In fact, it is extended to the developing friendship amongst themselves. But it should be noted that for this kind of relationship to be stable both partners must be willing to be open and communicate effectively. Although it includes more than two partners, a commitment is still established within a polyamorous relationship.
Willow Smith opened up about her relationship practice on The Red Table Talk and said this type of relationship made her life less complicated, stating
“With polyamory I feel like the main foundation is the freedom to be able to create a relationship style that works for you and not just stepping into monogamy because that is what everyone around you says is the right thing to do, She continued “So I was like, how can I approach relationship with that in mind?!”
Further explaining the practice, the 20 year old cited an instance, “Let’s say you have not always been the kind of person that wanted to have sex all the time but your partner is. Are you gonna be the person to say, you know, just because I don’t have these needs, you can’t have them either? And that is kind of one of the reasons why I actually was interested in polyamory because I was introduced to it through a nonsexual lens.” She ended her speech by saying that in her group of friends she’s the only polyamorous person and that whatever sexual practice one desires should be accepted not shoved aside due to societal expectations.
Some of the reasons why people adapt to polyamorous relationships vary. From having a partner that lacks in one department , whether sexually or emotionally.
Is a polyamorous relationship an escape from commitment?
The answer to this question is NO, most partners involved in this practice can be married, engaged and etc. Being in a polyamorous relationship won’t take away the chances of you being committed to the initial person you fell in love with. In fact this practice (according to relationship experts) has been the best way to crumble the rate of infidelity and cheating. Sex can happen with the other partner as long as it is not hidden from each other.
In my opinion I’ve come to realize that most people are or would rather like to be in a polyamorous relationship. Most aren’t ready to talk to their partners about it due to stigmas society placed. But with the enlightenment of this, people would gradually come to accept it and from research, the rate of divorce and infidelity cases would reduce drastically.
However if you already know you are polyamorous and your partner is not, it would be best to seek out others who have the same relationship views as you and engage with them instead.
If you want to help your loved ones understand the concept of polyamory, these are steps you should take:
● Ask them their opinion on polyamory and make them understand it’s not a bad relationship pattern.
● Send them articles on the topic to give them more insight or enlightenment on the practice.
● Talking to a relationship expert can also help.
● Put them in a polyamorous environment and observe their expression towards it.
Bring the topic up in a serene environment, it is not advisable to bring it up at a moment of disagreement as your partner stands a greater chance of saying NO. While trying to open up, your partner might express a moment of hesitation but reassure them that you are still committed to them and nothing changes.
Written by Amy